


APSoftball (The Teacher Trap)

by performativezippers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, High School Teacher AU, Sanvers - Freeform, and it was like WHAAAAT IS HAPPENING IS LOVE REAL, remember that feeling when high school teachers would call each other by their first names, texting fic, these softball-playing science nerds are gonna parent trap the shit out of sanvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-11 03:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/performativezippers/pseuds/performativezippers
Summary: Kayla: Okay sooooo Ms. Danvers came to our game today. Lily, you owe me ten bucks.Guadalupe: LOLLily: Kayla, seriously? Teachers come to games sometimes, it’s not a big dealLily: And it doesn’t mean they’re in gay love or whateverLily: Maybe Ms. Danvers just likes softballKayla: Oh, LilyKayla: GirlGuadalupe: Honestly Lily it’s like a fact at this point that Ms. Danvers and Coach Sawyer are dating





	APSoftball (The Teacher Trap)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xLittleScorpion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLittleScorpion/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day to SuicidalDanvers, aka AllysonCalleigh on Twitter!

**Kayla:** Okay sooooo Ms. Danvers came to our game today. Lily, you owe me ten bucks.

 **Guadalupe:** LOL

 **Lily:** Kayla, seriously? Teachers come to games sometimes, it’s not a big deal

 **Lily:** And it doesn’t mean they’re in gay love or whatever

 **Lily:** Maybe Ms. Danvers just likes softball

 **Kayla:** Oh, Lily

 **Kayla:** Girl

 **Guadalupe:** Honestly Lily it’s like a fact at this point that Ms. Danvers and Coach Sawyer are dating

 **Guadalupe:** Your denial is cute but like, so last year

 **Jasmine:** I agree that it’s super gay, but I don’t think they’re dating

 **Jasmine:** YET

 **Jasmine:** This is like, classic mutual pining

 **Lily:** We need more data before we can prove any of this

 **Kayla:** *cough* nerd *cough*

 **Lily:** Really, Kay?

 **Guadalupe:** Okay, okay. We gotta think of something that will prove it

 **Guadalupe:** Like what’s one thing they would do that’s like, beyond the pale of supportive colleagues

 **Kayla:** Fuck each other

 **Guadalupe:** Eyyyyyy ohhhhh

 **Jasmine:** Oh, okay, though. We have the science academic decathlon prelims next week

 **Jasmine:** Ms. Danvers is like, super stressed about it

 **Guadalupe:** Oh, yeah! Dude if Coach comes to see that, it definitely means something

 **Guadalupe:** No one just *happens* to be super into science AcaDeca

 **Jasmine:** Rude

 **Lily:** I am

 **Lily:** But yeah

 **Kayla:** Okay, it’s settled. If Coach comes to the AcaDeca prelims, we know there’s something brewing

 

* * *

 

 **Guadalupe:** Um so Lil and Jas, I know you’re probs nervous, and you’re going to crush this and like totally win science, but fyi, me and Kayla are sitting near Coach right now

 **Guadalupe:** And I swear to god they’re texting each other

 **Kayla:** Ms. Danvers and Coach

 **Guadalupe:** Like Ms. Danvers is so nervous, but any time Coach stops typing on her phone, Ms. Danvers smiles

 **Kayla:** Holy shit this is so gay

 **Kayla:** Let me count the ways

 **Kayla:** Number 1, Coach is HERE, at the fucking high school science academic decathlon preliminaries

 **Guadalupe** : ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

 **Kayla:** Preach

 **Kayla:** Number 2, Coach is obviously supportive texting Ms. Danvers right now

 **Guadalupe** : Which means, for the record, Coach knows she’s nervous

 **Guadalupe** : Which WE only know because she’s been freaking out at Jas and Lily for like, three weeks

 **Kayla** : Number 3, they have each other’s phone numbers, which is like, suspicious in and of itself

 **Guadalupe** : Do you think Coach is gonna like rush the stage and make out with her after our team wins?

 **Kayla** : Yeah, if she knows what’s good for her

 

* * *

 

 **Jasmine** : Um, guys?

 **Jasmine** : So in the green room just now

 **Jasmine** : Ms. Danvers was like, so happy that we won

 **Jasmine** : She was muttering about the other school’s club advisor, Mr. Lord, and how much of a dickbag he is

 **Jasmine** : But she was like, so happy

 **Jasmine** : And then

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god

 **Jasmine** : I’m overcome

 **Jasmine** : Lily help

 **Lily:** Okay and then Coach came in

 **Lily:** And she hugged me and Jasmine and told us she was proud of us

 **Jasmine** : Like, totally pretending that she was here for US

 **Lily:** Totally

 **Lily:** And then she walked across the room

 **Lily:** And she was like “hey Danvers”

 **Lily:** And Ms. Danvers was just like “hey Sawyer” but like had the sun beaming out of her face?

 **Lily:** And then Coach just said “nice win” but just stood there for a long time

 **Jasmine** : I swear to god just like STARING at Ms. Danvers’ face

 **Jasmine** : Like she was fucking Gal Gadot or something

 **Jasmine** : And then COACH WENT IN FOR THE HUG

 **Jasmine** : THEY HUGGED

 **Jasmine** : YOU GUYS

 **Jasmine** : THEY HUGGED

 **Jasmine** : IN FRONT OF US

 **Lily:** And then Coach was like trying to play it cool, and she was like “see you around Danvers” and left

 **Lily:** AND MS. DANVERS WAS BLUSHING

 **Lily:** And like, tripped over the carpet

 **Jasmine** : You guys

 **Jasmine** : It’s so gay

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla** : UM, WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH

 **Lily** : Be more specific

 **Kayla** : UM THIS BLONDE WOMAN IN THE BLEACHERS THAT COACH JUST KISSED

 **Kayla** : IN FRONT OF MS. DANVERS

 **Kayla** : WHAT THE HELL

 **Jasmine** : I’m like, honestly going to cry right now

 **Jasmine** : I don’t even care if we win this game

 **Jasmine** : This is horrible

 **Guadalupe:** Yeah like what the fuck

 **Guadalupe:** What are they DOING

 **Guadalupe:** Why the hell would Coach have come to our AcaDeca tournament if she wasn’t into Ms. Danvers?

 **Lily:** Maybe Ms. Danvers turned her down or something?

 **Lily:** Or maybe they’re still mutually pining but haven’t gotten their shit together yet?

 **Kayla:** Next inning I’m gonna hit a foul ball into that woman’s mouth

 **Kayla:** COACH AND MS. DANVERS ARE TRUE FUCKING LOVE

 **Kayla:** THIS GIRL HAS GOT TO GO

 **Jasmine:** Let’s win this fucking game so maybe they’ll hug again

 **Guadalupe:** #LetThemHug2k17

 

* * *

 

 **Jasmine:** Um, hello, I have an update

 **Jasmine:** So you know how Coach has been super pissy this week?

 **Jasmine:** Well I was just in Ms. Danvers’ classroom

 **Jasmine:** And I was talking to Julia

 **Jasmine:** And we were planning to skip practice cause like, all it’s been is Coach telling us we’re shitty at softball for like days on end

 **Jasmine:** And then Ms. Danvers came up to us

 **Jasmine:** And her eyes were all sad

 **Jasmine:** And her face was all soft

 **Jasmine:** And I noticed cause usually she’s so terrifying, obviously

 **Jasmine:** And she said “I need you both to cut Coach Sawyer some slack right now”

 **Jasmine:** “She’s having a bit of a tough time”

 **Jasmine:** “And she doesn’t mean to be yelling at you, and I’ll have a word with her about it”

 **Jasmine:** “But please go to practice and be nice to her”

 **Jasmine:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Kayla** : Oh my god

 **Guadalupe** : What does that mean?

 **Lily** : What happened?

 **Kayla** : WHAT DOES SHE KNOW

 

* * *

 

 **Guadalupe** : Sad update

 **Guadalupe** : I know why Coach has been so mean to us

 **Guadalupe** : I just overheard her on the phone

 **Guadalupe** : Telling someone named Jen that she’d be by tonight to pick up the stuff she left at Jen’s apartment

 **Guadalupe** : I think she and the blonde girl broke up

 **Kayla** : Wait why is that sad?

 **Kayla** : Doesn’t that clear the way for her and Ms. Danvers to be together?

 **Guadalupe** : Yeah in the long run I guess

 **Guadalupe** : But she just sounded really sad on the phone

 **Jasmine:** Okay well that’s super sad for Coach, yes

 **Jasmine:** But the silver lining is that Ms. Danvers totally knew about her breakup

 **Jasmine:** And was like, worried enough about her to tell me to be nice to her

 **Jasmine:** That’s gay behavior, everyone

 **Jasmine:** LOVING gay behavior, in fact

 **Lily:** Okay, so we all need to be super nice to her

 **Lily:** And like helpful in practice

 **Kayla** : Yeah

 **Kayla** : And next week we should start implementing our plan

 **Guadalupe** : YES

 **Kayla** : Let’s review

 **Kayla** : Step one: Lupe and I talk up Ms. Danvers to Coach, while Lily and Jas talk up Coach to Ms. Danvers

 **Kayla** : Step two: they get married

 **Jasmine** : Amazing plan

 **Guadalupe** : Well thought out

 **Lily** : Meticulous

 **Kayla** : IT’S GONNA WORK

 

* * *

 

 **Jasmine** : We need a ship name for them

 **Lily** : ScienceCoach

 **Guadalupe** : BioBall

 **Jasmine** : APCoach

 **Jasmine** : APSoftball

 **Lily** : Wait isn’t Ms. Danvers technically Dr. Danvers?

 **Lily** : DrCoach

 **Kayla** : CoachDr

 **Lily** : Coanvers

 **Kayla** : I vote APSoftball, that’s hilarious

 **Guadalupe** : Seconded

 **Lily** : Thirded

 **Jasmine** : The motion passes!

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla** : Um, what the fuck just happened??

 **Lily** : I don’t…

 **Lily** : I don’t know

 **Lily** : I’m so confused

 **Kayla** : I swear to god Ms. Danvers was crying??

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT  
  
**Guadalupe** : I’m out sick ONE day

 **Guadalupe** : What happened???

 **Kayla** : Okay it’s a two parter

 **Kayla** : Jasmine, you start

 **Jasmine** : Okay so I walked into Coach’s office early for my meeting with her right after sixth period

 **Jasmine** : And I was in the hallway

 **Jasmine** : And I saw them in the office together, Coach and Ms. Danvers

 **Jasmine** : And I was so pumped

 **Jasmine** : They were standing like, kind of close together

 **Jasmine** : But then Ms. Danvers like pulled away

 **Jasmine** : And she was moving all jerky, like she was super upset

 **Guadalupe** : Oh nooooo

 **Jasmine** : And she walked out

 **Jasmine** : And didn’t even see me

 **Jasmine** : And Coach yelled “Alex, don’t go”

 **Jasmine** : But Ms. Danvers just kept walking

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god

 **Jasmine** : And she sort of held up a hand and said “I’ll see you”

 **Jasmine** : And she looked like she was about to cry

 **Jasmine** : And left

 **Jasmine** : And Coach was just standing there

 **Jasmine** : For a long time

 **Jasmine** : And I think she was touching her lips?

 **Jasmine** : And she was like, super sad

 **Guadalupe** : Holy shit!!

 **Guadalupe** : She called her Alex??

 **Guadalupe** : I’ve never heard them call each other by their first names before

 **Kayla** : (I lowkey didn’t even know her name was Alex)

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god, “Alex don’t go” that’s like fucking heartbreaking

 **Lily** : It really is

 **Lily** : But it gets worse

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god

 **Guadalupe** : Nooooooooooo

 **Guadalupe** : APSoftball!!!!

 **Guadalupe** : Okay keep going

 **Guadalupe** : I can take it

 **Lily** : So just now at practice

 **Lily** : Coach was like, super distracted

 **Jasmine** : She kept touching her lips

 **Jasmine** : And she looked all worried and stuff

 **Kayla** : And she kept looking over at the faculty parking lot

 **Kayla** : And then Ms. Danvers walked by the field to get to her car

 **Kayla** : And Coach like literally abandoned us and ran over to her

 **Kayla** : And was like “please, can we talk about this”

 **Kayla** : And Ms. Danvers had that look on her face, like when Jack Webber touched her butt last year?

 **Guadalupe** : Holy shit

 **Kayla** : Yeah, the death look

 **Kayla** : Of like, “I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again and I won’t lose a wink of sleep over it”

 **Kayla** : She was just like, SO angry

 **Lily** : And she said something like “I’ve already heard what you have to say, and it’s fine”

 **Lily** : And Coach said “no it isn’t”

 **Lily** : And then Ms. Danvers said “I’m late I have to go”

 **Jasmine** : And then this other woman showed up

 **Jasmine** : She was blonde and tall and had really good posture

 **Jasmine** : And she just walked right up to Ms. Danvers and put her arm around her

 **Jasmine** : And was like “ready to go?”

 **Jasmine** : And Ms. Danvers said yeah and then they walked away and she didn’t even say bye

 **Lily** : And I swear to god she was crying as she left

 **Lily** : And like, was cuddling into this other person

 **Lily** : And just looked so small and sad

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god

 **Guadalupe** : What was Coach doing?

 **Kayla** : Just like, standing there

 **Kayla** : Watching her walk away

 **Kayla** : She didn’t say anything

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS

 **Jasmine** : I’m like honestly heartbroken

 **Lily** : I think Ms. Danvers asked her out and Coach said no

 **Kayla** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **Guadalupe** : WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT

 **Jasmine** : NO WAY

 **Jasmine** : They’re in LOVE dude no way

 **Lily** : No seriously

 **Lily** : Think about it

 **Lily** : Coach just got dumped, right?

 **Lily** : And they work together

 **Lily** : It’s a complicated situation

 **Lily** : And we all know Ms. Danvers isn’t like, patient and forgiving

 **Guadalupe** : Ha, understatement of the year

 **Lily** : So if Coach said no and tried to explain why, maybe Ms. Danvers just like, left?

 **Lily** : And that’s what Jasmine saw

 **Jasmine** : Honestly that does make sense

 **Lily** : And then Coach wanted to explain at practice but Ms. Danvers just blew her off

 **Kayla** : Fuck

 **Kayla** : That DOES make sense

 **Kayla** : I have two questions

 **Kayla** : 1. who is the woman who came to get Ms. Danvers?

 **Kayla** : 2. how do we fix this?

 

* * *

 

 **Lily:** The woman who came to get Ms. Danvers is her SISTER

 **Lily:** I saw a picture of them on Ms. Danvers’ desk and I asked

 **Guadalupe** : Oh thank god

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god, you guys

 **Jasmine** : She was so sad she called her sister to come get her

 **Jasmine** : I’m like, honestly going to cry

 **Jasmine** : Again

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla** : Merry Christmas! Try not to think about Coach and Ms. Danvers celebrating separately

 **Guadalupe** : What the fuck Kayla

 **Guadalupe** : You’re a horrible person

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla:** Happy New Year!

 **Kayla:** Try not to think about Coach and Ms. Danvers not kissing each other at midnight!

 **Guadalupe** : What the fuck is wrong with you

 **Jasmine** : HAPPY NEW YEAR, THINK ABOUT HOW NEXT YEAR COACH AND MS. DANVERS WILL MAKEOUT AT MIDNIGHT BECAUSE THEY’LL BE IN LOVE AND LIVING TOGETHER BECAUSE OUR MEDDLING WILL HAVE WORKED

 **Lily** : I love you Jasmine

 **Guadalupe** : You’re the beacon of hope we need in these hard times

 

* * *

 

 **Jasmine** : YOU GUYS

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : HOLY SHIT

 **Jasmine** : I’M

 **Jasmine** : DYING

 **Jasmine** : OKAY

 **Jasmine** : I CAN’T EVEN TYPE

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Kayla:** What the fuck

 **Kayla:** Jas what happened?

 **Jasmine** : LSKDFJLSDKFJSDLKFJS

 **Kayla:** JASMINE WHAT IS GOING ON

 **Kayla:** ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE

 **Jasmine** : NO

 **Jasmine** : I JUST

 **Jasmine** : APSOFTBALL LIVES!!!!!!!!!!

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT

 **Guadalupe** : OH MY GOD

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT HAPPENED

 **Lily** : Okay, here’s what happened

 **Kayla** : Oh thank god you were there Lily

 **Lily** : So Jasmine and I were in Ms. Danvers’ class for AcaDeca

 **Lily** : But it was just the two of us and we were over in the corner

 **Lily** : On the computer

 **Lily** : So it was hard to see us

 **Lily** : And so Coach comes into the room, and immediately Ms. Danvers is like, “what are you doing here?”

 **Lily** : And is her usual ice-queen self

 **Lily** : And Coach is like “I really need to talk to you”

 **Lily** : “Just give me two minutes of your time and I’ll be gone” or something

 **Lily** : And Ms. Danvers says “two minutes” like it’s fucking pulling teeth or something

 **Jasmine** : Coach is like, super nervous, by the way. She looks all small and cute and just like…I don’t even know

 **Jasmine** : Vulnerable?

 **Lily** : Totally

 **Lily** : So then Coach starts this whole speech

 **Jasmine** : Which, thank god, Lily was smart enough to transcribe as we heard it!

 **Jasmine** : So this is coming to you verbatim, folks

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god Lily you’re a national hero

 **Lily** : So Coach says, “I heard everything you said, about how we were never friends, and about what you’d thought I meant before”

 **Kayla** : Oh my god WHAT

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT IS HAPPENING

 **Lily** : She’s like “I get it, and if you never want to talk to me again I’ll respect that. I’ll disappear.”

 **Kayla** : OH MY GOD

 **Kayla** : NO

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT

 **Guadalupe** : KEEP GOING

 **Lily** : But then you guys

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god

 **Lily** : Coach said “But I don’t meet many people that I care about”

 **Lily** : “and I care about you”

 **Lily** : “a lot”

 **Jasmine** : A LOT

 **Jasmine** : YOU GUYS

 **Jasmine** : A LOT

 **Jasmine** : I CARE ABOUT YOU, A LOT

 **Jasmine** : SHE SAID

 **Jasmine** : WITH HER MOUTH

 **Guadalupe** : I’M GOING TO DIE

 **Guadalupe** : I’M GOING TO DIE

 **Guadalupe** : SHE CARES ABOUT HER A LOT

 **Kayla** : DUH

 **Kayla** : BUT ALSO LIKE

 **Kayla** : I’M GOING TO DIE TOO

 **Lily** : Wait it keeps going though

 **Guadalupe** : Right, sorry

 **Lily** : Coach goes “you’ve become really important to me”

 **Lily** : “I hope that one day you and I can be friends”

 **Lily** : “Because I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it”

 **Kayla** : OH MY FUCKING GOD

 **Kayla** : OH MY GOD

 **Kayla** : OH MY

 **Kayla** : GOD

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT IS HAPPENING

 **Jasmine** : Wait though

 **Jasmine** : Then Ms. Danvers was like, looking around

 **Jasmine** : All fidgety

 **Jasmine** : I’m 100% neither of them remembered we’re in the room, btw

 **Lily** : And then Ms. Danvers just said “pool, tomorrow night”

 **Lily** : And Coach said “wouldn’t miss it”

 **Lily** : And then she left

 **Guadalupe** : This is the best, gayest thing, I have ever heard in my life

 **Kayla** : What does this MEAN???

 **Lily** : Well (1) it means they play pool together, which is something we didn’t know before

 **Jasmine** : And (2) it means Coach was super upset about their fight

 **Guadalupe** : Right, and (3) that their fight was about them not being friends?

 **Kayla** : And (4) it means Coach is the biggest fucking softy in the entire world

 **Lily** : Oh, yeah obviously

 **Guadalupe** : And (5) that Coach really wants to have Ms. Danvers in her life, and has been like, suffering without her

 **Kayla** : Oh my god I’m going to die

 **Kayla** : This is so amazing

 **Jasmine** : Okay, wait, you guys, I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea

 **Guadalupe** : Yes, Lindsay Lohan?

 **Jasmine** : So it’s January 14 right now

 **Jasmine** : That’s exactly one month until Valentine’s Day

 **Jasmine** : I say that we let them be friends, play pool or whatever

 **Jasmine** : But then we start dropping hints and shit

 **Jasmine** : Engaging in Parent Trap-like shenanigans

 **Jasmine** : So that they’ll be together by Valentine’s Day

 **Lily** : That sounds…incredibly hard

 **Jasmine** : I KNOW, BUT WE SHOULD DO IT

 **Jasmine** : THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY

 **Jasmine** : APSOFTBALL IS LOVE, YOU GUYS

 **Kayla** : I’m in

 **Guadalupe** : I’m in

 **Lily** : Fuck it, I’m in too. Let’s just not get expelled or kicked off the team or anything? Please?

 **Kayla** : No promises!

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla** : You guys it’s been two weeks

 **Kayla** : We’re halfway to Valentine’s Day

 **Kayla** : And we’ve made no progress

 **Jasmine:** That’s not totally true

 **Jasmine:** Lily and I have been talking up Coach a LOT to Ms. Danvers

 **Lily:** Yeah Jas has been laying it on THICK

 **Lily:** “Oh, Ms. Danvers, Coach is so strong, she lifted so many weights today”

 **Lily:** “Oh, Ms. Danvers, Coach is so kind, she helped me with my calc homework”

 **Jasmine:** Shut up

 **Lily:** “Oh, Ms. Danvers, Coach is so pretty, I wish my hair was just like hers”

 **Jasmine:** EXCUSE ME FOR FOLLOWING THE PLAN, LILY

 **Kayla:** Lupe’s been just as obvious with Coach

 **Kayla:** “Oh, Coach, Ms. Danvers is so smart, her lecture today was amazing”

 **Kayla:** “Coach what do you think Ms. Danvers does to work out? Her arm muscles are so well defined”

 **Guadalupe:** Whatever

 **Jasmine:** Okay, while I love how embarrassing this is for Lupe and me, I think we need to double down

 **Kayla:** Let’s move to phase 2

 **Lily:** I hate phase 2

 **Kayla:** IT’S FOR TRUE LOVE LILY

 

* * *

 

 **Guadalupe:** YOU GUYS I DID IT

 **Guadalupe:** I DID MY PART OF PHASE 2

 **Kayla** : Omg

 **Lily** : How did it go??

 **Jasmine** : What happened????

 **Guadalupe:** Okay so I pulled Coach aside after practice, like we planned

 **Guadalupe:** And I told her I wanted to ask a girl out

 **Guadalupe:** And I asked her what’s the most romantic way to do it

 **Guadalupe:** And first she like, sat me down, and gave me this whole speech about how she was proud of me for coming out to her, and how she’s here for me and stuff

 **Guadalupe:** And it was super cute

 **Guadalupe:** And I guess she didn’t know I was gay? Or that I was out?

 **Guadalupe:** But anyway, it was adorable and super nice

 **Jasmine** : Awwwwww

 **Kayla** : 20,000 gay mentor points for Coach

 **Guadalupe:** Right?

 **Guadalupe:** But so then she said the most romantic way is when it’s really from the heart and it feels like it’s coming from you personally and is directed to her personally, not like you copied it from every lifetime movie

 **Guadalupe:** Or something you googled

 **Guadalupe:** She kept saying that, make it feel personal

 **Guadalupe:** And well thought out

 **Guadalupe:** Which is awesome

 **Guadalupe:** Because Ms. Danvers is so weird, and nerdy, and scary

 **Guadalupe:** That it’ll definitely be personal, you know

 **Guadalupe:** No way is Ms. Danvers just like “let’s go to dinner and movie”

 **Guadalupe:** She’d be like “let’s dissect live sheeps together and then go boxing” or some shit

 **Lily** : The plural of “sheep” is “sheep”

 **Jasmine** : THAT’S WHAT YOU GOT FROM THIS??

 

* * *

**Lily** : I DID MY PART OF PHASE 2

 **Lily** : I asked Ms. Danvers if she has Valentine’s Day plans

 **Lily** : She said no

 **Kayla** : YUSSS

 **Lily** : She said she usually hangs out with her sister, but her sister is going to spend the day with her new boyfriend instead

 **Lily** : And she looked super sad

 **Lily** : And I asked her if she liked Valentine’s Day and she said she loves it

 **Lily** : That it’s like her favorite holiday

 **Lily** : Which is SUPER weird cause I would have thought she hated love and feelings

 **Lily** : But

 **Lily** : Apparently it’s like a big deal to her

 **Guadalupe:** Oh my god she’s SUCH a nerd

 **Kayla** : COACH SAWYER COME GET YOUR GIRL

 **Lily** : So I was like, “maybe you could hang out with Coach”

 **Lily** : And she like, got super still and totally freaked out

 **Lily** : And was like, “What. Do. You. Mean?” like a robot

 **Lily** : And I tried to be super casual, just like “oh well we know she just broke up with someone, so I figured maybe she’d be lonely too”

 **Lily** : And then I was like, “you guys are friends right?

 **Kayla** : OH MY GOD

 **Guadalupe:** YOU’RE EVIL

 **Guadalupe:** I LOVE YOU

 **Lily** : And she was like “oh, yeah, totally, we’re totally friends, totally, yes, totally”

 **Kayla** : SURE JAN

 **Lily** : Right?? It was definitely overkill

 **Lily** : But so, the thought seed has been planted

 **Jasmine** : AMAZING

 **Jasmine** : LILY, YOU’RE AMAZING

 **Jasmine** : THIS IS GOING TO WORK, YOU GUYS

 **Jasmine** : I CAN FEEL IT

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla** : MS. DANVERS JUST ASKED ME IF THE SOFTBALL SHED IS LOCKED

 **Kayla** : MS. DANVERS JUST ASKED ME

 **Kayla** : IF THE SOFTBALL SHED

 **Kayla** : IS LOCKED

 **Guadalupe** : What?

 **Kayla** : I told her yeah, and asked her why, and she said “I might need to put something in it”

 **Kayla** : Which makes no sense

 **Kayla** : Cause she has a whole classroom to put stuff in

 **Guadalupe** : And a car?

 **Kayla** : Right

 **Kayla** : And then she asked me who had keys, and I said Coach, and the athletic director, and me cause I’m team captain, and she just said okay and then like, kept teaching

 **Guadalupe** : INTRIGUE

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god she’s gonna put flowers or something in there

 **Jasmine** : I can feel it

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god

 **Jasmine** : APSOFTBALL IS HAPPENING

 **Lily** : You guys I’m worried if this ever does actually happen that Jasmine is going to have a heart attack

 **Jasmine** : That’s SO possible, you don’t even know

 

* * *

 

 **Kayla:** Jasmine, where are you right now?

 **Jasmine** : At home, why?

 **Kayla:** Are you in your room?

 **Jasmine** : Yeah?

 **Jasmine** : ??

 **Lily:** Sit down

 **Jasmine** : ?????

 **Guadalupe:** Just do it

 **Jasmine** : Okay I’m sitting?

 **Jasmine** : You guys what’s going on?

 **Kayla:** So you know how tomorrow is Valentine’s?

 **Jasmine** : Yes, obviously

 **Jasmine** : Thank you for reminding me of our APSoftball failure

 **Kayla:** Um, well

 **Kayla:** About that

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : WHAT HAPPENED

 **Kayla:** LILY, GUADALUPE, AND I JUST SPENT THE LAST 2 HOURS HELPING MS. DANVERS SET UP A SURPRISE FOR COACH IN THE SOFTBALL SHED

 **Jasmine** : LSKDJF

 **Jasmine** : WHAT

 **Jasmine** : WHAT!!!!!

 **Guadalupe** : WITH LIKE STREAMERS

 **Guadalupe** : AND ROSES

 **Guadalupe** : AND HEARTS

 **Guadalupe** : AND A NOTE

 **Guadalupe** : ASKING HER ON A DATE TO THE BATTING CAGES AND THEN TO COME OVER TO MS. DANVERS’ HOUSE FOR TIRAMISU AND SCOTCH

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : I’M HONESTLY DYING

 **Jasmine** : I’M ON THE FLOOR

 **Jasmine** : I FELL ON THE FLOOR

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : IT’S HAPPENING

 **Jasmine** : WE DID IT

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : Okay wait

 **Jasmine** : Back up

 **Jasmine** : Tell me everything

 **Kayla:** Ms. Danvers came up to me after class, and was basically like, “I need your help”

 **Kayla:** “I need to get into the softball shed after school”

 **Kayla:** And all 3 of us were there

 **Guadalupe** : And she just like, sighed, and was clearly like “fuck it”

 **Guadalupe** : She was like “I want to do something nice for Coach Sawyer”

 **Lily:** And fucking Guadalupe was AMAZING

 **Guadalupe** : I just went all innocent and said “like what, Ms. Danvers?”

 **Jasmine** : HAHAHAHA

 **Lily:** It was amazing

 **Lily:** And Ms. Danvers just blushed

 **Lily:** And got super embarrassed

 **Lily:** And then swore us to secrecy

 **Kayla:** And then said “I want to ask her out. On a date. With me”

 **Kayla:** Like, she said all of those words

 **Kayla:** It was so cute

 **Jasmine** : I’M SCREAMING

 **Kayla:** And so we were like “UH YES WE’LL HELP YOU”

 **Kayla:** And so after school she brought us out to her car

 **Kayla:** And it was BURSTING with cheesy romantic shit

 **Kayla:** And she had it all planned out

 **Kayla:** She said her sister helped her plan it

 **Lily:** She said tiramisu is Coach’s favorite dessert and scotch is her favorite drink and she really likes hitting things and has been trying to get Ms. Danvers to go to the batting cages with her for weeks

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : IT’S SO PERSONALIZED

 **Jasmine** : JUST LIKE COACH SAID SHE WANTED

 **Guadalupe** : I KNOW

 **Jasmine** : How does the shed look?

 **Guadalupe** : Honestly?

 **Guadalupe** : Like cupid threw up in it

 **Guadalupe** : But it’s really cute

 **Guadalupe** : You can tell how much she cares

 **Jasmine** : I CAN’T WAIT

 **Jasmine** : I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL WE TELL THIS STORY AT THEIR WEDDING

 **Lily** : Oh my god Jasmine

 

* * *

**Kayla** : I don’t get it

 **Kayla** : I don’t understand what happened

 **Kayla** : We didn’t hallucinate yesterday, right?

 **Kayla** : We actually set up all that shit in the shed?

 **Lily** : Yeah, we did

 **Kayla** : And Ms. Danvers asked her out for like, the perfect Coach Sawyer date?

 **Lily** : Yeah

 **Guadalupe** : And Coach is fucking crazy about Ms. Danvers and doesn’t want to imagine her life without her in it?

 **Jasmine** : Yeah

 **Guadalupe** : And Coach cares about her? A lot?

 **Jasmine** : Yeah

 **Guadalupe** : And Ms. Danvers obviously likes Coach, cause she asked her out

 **Jasmine** : Yeah

 **Kayla** : SO WHAT THE FUCK WENT WRONG

 **Kayla** : WHY THEY FUCK DID MS. DANVERS LEAVE AT LUNCH

 **Jasmine** : I saw her crying

 **Jasmine** : Outside the building

 **Jasmine** : Just like, sobbing

 **Jasmine** : It was horrible

 **Jasmine** : Her sister came again and took her home

 **Jasmine** : It was awful

 **Jasmine** : I’ve never seen an adult cry like that

 **Kayla** : WHAT HAPPENED

 **Kayla** : WHAT DID COACH DO

 **Lily** : I think the real question is, why did Coach say no

 **Lily** : Cause obviously

 **Lily** : She did

 **Kayla** : I’m going to fucking murder her

 **Kayla** : Gay mentor or not, best adult in my life by a landslide or not, I’m going to murder her

 

* * *

 

_Call Transcript_

_March 9, 9:53pm_

 

“Hello?”

“Coach? It’s Jasmine.”

“Jasmine, is everything okay? It’s late.”

“I, um. Well, I was calling to tell you that me and Lily… _[a hitched breath, something like a gasp]_ We, um we won’t be able to play in the game tomorrow.”

“What do you mean, you won’t be able to play? Jasmine, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Our bus home from the AcaDeca tournament crashed. We’re on our way to the hospital.”

“Oh my god. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“Lily and I are a little banged up, but we’re going to be okay. I think I hurt my ankle a little, but I’m okay.”

 _[a panicked, sharp inhale]_ “Alex. _Fuck_ , Alex, is she okay? Is she hurt?”

 _[a sob]_ “I don’t know. They took her in the ambulance. She’s hurt really bad.”

 _[a whisper]_ “Oh my god.”

“She was…she was bleeding, a lot, and she was unconscious.”

“What hospital are they taking you to? And her?”

“University Hospital, they said.”

“Okay, I’m going to meet you there, okay? I’ll…I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

 _[a sniffle]_ “Okay.”

“Do you know if they called her family? Alex’s, I mean?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll do it, I’ll call them. I’ll…I’ll see you soon, okay? You stay safe, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

 

* * *

 

_Coach Sawyer has started a conversation, April 11 2018, 11:15am_

 

 **Coach** : I need you four to stay after the game today.

 **Kayla** : Uh, okay...?

 **Guadalupe** : Sure

 **Lily** : Why?

 **Jasmine** : Are we in trouble?

 **Coach** : I know you all know about some of what’s been going on with Ms. Danvers and me.

 **Jasmine** : Oh my god!!

 **Jasmine** : I mean

 **Jasmine** : What are you talking about

 **Guadalupe:** Jasmine!

 **Kayla** : Oh my god

 **Lily** : Um, sorry, Coach, what are you talking about?

 **Coach** : Nice try, Lily.

 **Coach** : Kayla, I know that you let Ms. Danvers into the softball shed.

 **Coach** : And I know there’s no way that one of you was involved in her asking me out without all four of you being involved.

 **Guadalupe** : Oh my god

 **Kayla** : Are we really that obvious?

 **Coach** : Kayla, when my ex came to that fall-ball expo game, you literally hit three foul balls right at her, and then talked at me for ten minutes about how smart Ms. Danvers is.

 **Coach** : You guys are not subtle.

 **Guadalupe** : KAYLA

 **Coach** : Lupe, you’re not any better. Your whole, “what’s the most romantic way to ask a girl out” question? You wanna try to pretend that wasn’t digging for info to pass along to Ms. Danvers?

 **Guadalupe** : I’m gonna plead the 5th on that, ma’am

 **Coach** : Call me ma’am again and you’re off the starting roster.

 **Guadalupe** : Yes, Coach. Sorry, Coach

 **Lily** : Sorry, Coach, but what does this have to do with us staying after the game? On a Sunday?

 **Coach** : Tomorrow is Ms. Danvers’ first day back at work.

 **Coach** : And I don’t know how much you guys know, exactly, but things didn’t go very well after you all helped her ask me out.

 **Coach** : I turned her down, and she was pretty upset about it.

 **Kayla** : We knew that

 **Guadalupe** : We did know that

 **Kayla** : Old news

 **Jasmine** : Um, can I ask

 **Jasmine** : Since we’re talking about this

 **Jasmine** : Feel free to say no

 **Jasmine** : But

 **Jasmine** : With all due respect

 **Jasmine** : Why the hell did you say no?

 **Jasmine** : We know that you liked her

 **Coach** : …You guys know a lot more than I’d thought, don’t you?

 **Lily** : Probably yes

 **Coach** : Jesus.

 **Coach** : Okay.

 **Coach** : I didn’t say no to her because it was *her*

 **Coach** : I said no because it was Valentine’s Day.

 **Guadalupe:** …

 **Guadalupe:** Okay, just in case you thought that cleared it up? It didn’t

 **Coach** : When I was a kid, I was outed on Valentine’s Day. And I was kicked out, and it was really shitty. So it’s not my favorite day, and I make really stupid decisions on it every year.

 **Guadalupe:** Oh my god

 **Lily** : Coach, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know

 **Jasmine** : Me neither

 **Kayla** : We never would have said yes to helping her if we’d known

 **Coach** : No, I know that. And I don’t blame you all. Or her.

 **Coach** : But I turned her down, because I was upset about the day, and I felt awful about it.

 **Coach** : But she’s so stubborn and so she wouldn’t let me explain.

 **Coach** : And then she got hurt.

 **Lily** : Oh my god

 **Jasmine** : And you raced to the hospital and everything like in a movie

 **Coach** : Yeah

 **Kayla** : Oh my god

 **Coach** : But, so, we’ve been spending some time together, while she’s been recovering.

 **Coach** : But I wanted to wait to ask her out until she was feeling better.

 **Coach** : So I want to do it tomorrow.

 **Coach** : And she’s obviously a huge cheesy sap, based on what she did for me in the shed.

 **Coach** : And I’m just…not.

 **Jasmine** : Wow

 **Kayla** : Shocker

 **Lily** : I’m very surprised to hear that, Coach

 **Guadalupe** : Your whole vibe just screams LET’S WRITE LOVING POETRY ABOUT EACH OTHER IN A FIELD OF DAISIES

 **Coach** : Oh my god

 **Kayla** : Sorry

 **Lily** : Sorry, Coach

 **Coach** : Anyway, I’m here, begging for your help. I need to set up her classroom like she set up the shed.

 **Coach** : Jasmine, I know you have keys because of AcaDeca stuff, right?

 **Jasmine** : Right!

 **Coach** : Okay. So, what do you say?

 **Coach** : Will you guys help me?

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD YES

 **Jasmine** : APSOFTBALL LIVES

 **Kayla** : APSoftball Lives!!!

 **Coach** : APSoftball? You guys couldn’t come up with a better couples name than that??

 **Guadalupe:** Oh my god, Coach

 

* * *

 

_Ms. Danvers has started a conversation, April 12 2018, 8:03pm_

**Ms. Danvers** : I know what the four of you did for Maggie and me.

 **Ms. Danvers** : I’m indebted to you, seriously.

 **Ms. Danvers** : But if you ever mention any of it again, you’ll be filling out lab reports until you’re on social security.

 **Ms. Danvers** : Clear?

 **Kayla** : Yes ma’am

 **Jasmine** : Yes, Dr. Danvers

 **Lily** : Yes, Ms. Danvers

 **Guadalupe** : Crystal clear

 

_Ms. Danvers has left the conversation_

* * *

**Jasmine** : So today Ms. Danvers asked me to give a note “to Maggie”

 **Kayla** : Oh my god she’s just completely given up on calling her Coach Sawyer hasn’t she

 **Guadalupe** : Clearly yes

 **Kayla** : What did the note say?

 **Jasmine** : I don’t know! I didn’t open it!

 **Kayla** : What a prude

 **Jasmine** : It was sealed!!

 **Kayla** : LIVE ON THE EDGE, JASMINE

 **Jasmine** : Well, anyway, when I gave it to Coach, she opened it and read it and got the goofiest grin

 **Jasmine** : And I asked her what it said

 **Jasmine** : And she wouldn’t tell me

 **Jasmine** : But she was so happy

 **Guadalupe** : I bet it was porn

 **Lily** : EW

 **Guadalupe** : Like, paper and pen sexting

 **Jasmine** : Gross, Lupe

 **Guadalupe** : WHAT! You KNOW they’re doing the dirty

 **Jasmine** : Passing porn notes is NOT what I signed up for

 **Coach** : Quick note, this is still the text thread with me in it.

 **Lily** : OH MY GOD

 **Guadalupe** : FUCK

 **Guadalupe** : I’M

 **Guadalupe** : I’M SO SORRY

 **Kayla** : Oh shit

 **Coach** : The note said I was beautiful and invited me for a picnic on the field after practice.

 **Jasmine** : (oh my god)

 **Coach** : You all are very bad people.

 **Coach** : Make sure you stretch before practice tomorrow.

 **Coach** : The four of you are going to be running a LOT of laps.

 **Lily** : Oh my god

 **Jasmine** : Okay, don’t we get ANY credit for setting you guys up??

 **Kayla** : Yeah, I mean, we HAVE been working on this since like, October

 **Coach** : Well turns out Alex and I have been in love with each other since last January, so

 **Coach** : No.

 **Jasmine** : OH MY GOD

 **Jasmine** : I’M GOING TO DIE

 **Coach** : Go to bed, you idiots.

 **Jasmine** : LOVE IS REAL

 

* * *

 

_Lily has started a conversation, March 1, 2019_

 

 **Lily** : DID YOU GUYS GET THE WEDDING INVITATION????

 **Jasmine** : I’M CRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

 **Kayla:** YES OH MY GOD

 **Guadalupe** : LET’S GO SUIT SHOPPING

 **Kayla:** WE DID IT

 **Kayla:** APSOFTBALL FOREVER

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and being the best imaginary friends in the world.
> 
> Come visit me on my tumblr (performativezippers) and twitter (p_zippers) to learn useless things about my life, read my rants, and support my other work. Heart ya.


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